The OQP Philosophy
With the advent of my 30th birthday, I reflected. I asked myself, why didn’t I get that PhD? How much money am I blowing on booze and take out? Was moving to California the right choice? Why am I always agitated and emotionally drained? These thoughts translated into realizing I’m not happy and I won’t be happy without making some changes. There are good days, bad days, and days where I feel stuck and unable to make significant strides. When memes of fat cats don’t make you happy, it’s time to make some changes, but how? My realization first came through a conversation with a friend.
“Colorado” Aaron, texted me asking, “Hey man, do you want to catch up sometime?”
I responded, “Sure, let’s keep messaging each other and don’t hesitate to be a stranger.”
“No, I mean like talk on the phone.”
“Oh? Uhh, yeah, I guess we can talk on the phone. The only people who ever call me are my immediate family. Most of the time I just talk over Discord. But, I enjoyed seeing you in Colorado, so let’s talk”.
We set up a time to call later that week and discussed personal finance, goals, career changes, and what life was like after turning 30. We found that investments and time were most important and that drinking excessively and losing a day to a hangover was horrible for our mental well-being and productivity toward meeting our goals. It took another conversation with another Aaron to realize what I had to do (Both Aarons are OQPs, but I’ll get to that in a minute). After speaking with Colorado Aaron, I gave Chicago Aaron a call.
Chicago Aaron and I talked about changing careers. He’d gone through an incredible transformation and continues to mentor me throughout the process. Aaron thought I’d be a great product owner or project manager based on my counseling and management background. He recommended I start taking SQL courses and gave me his login for Code Academy. We talked about direction and where our lives were headed. It was then that he introduced me to the acronym, OQP. I’d been thinking the same thing, but hadn’t considered the catchy acronym. Our friend and my old roommate, Shawn, had come up with this wonderful way of life that would shape my philosophy.
Shawn is one of a kind. Friends would describe him as eccentric, prodigal, and intelligent. We’d have Hunter S. Thompson style brunches at Davanti Enoteca on Taylor Street complete with thick-cut bacon and caramelized grapes for appetizers, gourmet burgers with shoe-string fries, beers, Port and espresso. While our lifestyle has become less lively, Shawn has a history of coming up with all sorts of acronyms to describe things he liked or to add a mysterious component to everyday activities. The “Pork Chop on the Bone” or PCOTB was a reference to Maxwell’s, a classic Chicago grill with superior foods like a polish sausage or a cheeseburger. It’s unclear if anyone actually enjoyed eating PCOTBs, but the PCOTB is a greasy sandwich with caramelized onions and mustard, great after a night of drinking. Did this sandwich that few people order deserve an acronym? No, but little did Shawn know, he was on to discovering something great. In 2020, he coined, “Only Quality People” or OQP.
I started recognizing that there were a number of events I’d attend simply because I had nothing better to do or the ability to turn down peer pressure. After having to engage regularly with a few creepy – or undesirable folks at different events, I said “Yeah, Nah,” let’s hang out with some real OQPs. These are just OPs (Ordinary People) and while they’re not necessarily bad, they weren’t helping improve my mood or enjoyment. These OPs are the types of people that’ll ask you to hang out and you’ll never engage in more than just small talk. There will be people you have to deal with at social events that bring you some salty and lukewarm feelings, but you can choose to cut ‘em out and make some new friends. While you can’t avoid every single person you dislike, the OQP philosophy encourages you to try.
OQPs are driven people. Sometimes they get stuck or lost, but they find a way out. They’re creative and improvisational. They recognize their behaviors can change. This isn’t an endorsement for personal responsibility, but one for acknowledging your own poor behaviors and willingness to be accepted and throwing that garbage out the window! King David’s no self-help guru or prophet, but this sagely acronym is one His Majesty finds useful. Start by recognizing your true friends. Call them. Don’t just text! In the age of social media, we’re more connected than ever, but our loneliness is pervasive. Identify those OQPs and keep them close.
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