The symptoms of burnout have been overwhelming for several months now, maybe longer. Low energy, anger, and doubt encompass my writing. My relationships have experienced strain. I often imagine the sharp and quick-witted brain of others and wish I had the ability to shine as I once did in this same job. If I could do something, suggest something, or write something, maybe that’d fix the culture. Writing is far more comfortable with several other mediums on. Tuning out the moans of work is difficult, even at night. Being worked to the bone further continues to add difficulty to new and continued hobbies. I’d like to start a podcast, but the action really proves difficult to initiate.

I don’t mean to sound like a robot here. My physical and occupational therapies are complete. I was even able to cancel the last session (Forty-Five Bucks)!! My hand is back at 85% strength and the recovery has been swift. With a strong right hand, I really need to write more. This blog is a project I planned out and one that I’m still learning along the way. My background is in vocational rehabilitation counseling. I’ve started to develop my own theories for work — and how we need to move away from work. Nobody likes work from my understanding. Everyone’s looking for a way out of it. Traditional vocational theories suggest that work gives us meaning, but I’d prefer to find other types of meaning. The traditional office isn’t going to suffice anymore and billions are wasted in spending excessive time in an office space.

My workload continues to grow. I’m offered a bit of help. When I broke my hand, I was given the opportunity to “turn reports in late”. 9 weeks later, I’m still turning them in. I requested a 50% reduction in my workload yet I was provided only 10%. Even half of that would have been fine. Since my hand’s almost back with just a bit of numbness in my pinky, I’m able to double down on the work I’ve missed and I’ve been catching up. Still, the monotony of my day by day keeps me down and makes it harder for me to complete many projects at home. Improving my writing and cooking are two goals I have.

What should I do? Is working with people with disabilities a career I should continue? Is my lack of focus due to my current employer or would this struggle translate to any employer? How do I reduce the paperwork that I’m required to do? Bettering myself is always a goal, but productivity can be so easily stifled. I’m reading a book on project management. I went to a Peace Corps seminar today. I’m genuinely interested. Why did I choose a job with such a high rate of burnout? I’m certainly trying, but I’m stuck. That brings our time to an end. See you at the office, bright and early!