On Faith & Rosh Hashana

It’s the second night of Rosh Hashana, the Jewish new year. We celebrate the new year by sounding the shofar, eating apples and honey, and wishing others a sweet year to come. This is meant to be a fulfilling time and a joyous occasion. The sound of the shofar resonating throughout the old synagogue’s walls send vibrations into our ears. The sour and sweet flavors of apples and honey, and challah blend together. We say “L’Shana Tova Umetuka”, which translates to a sweet new year. Something feels off as we enter the new year of 5280. Something is a miss. I’ll leave my thoughts.

How can we celebrate when our country is on a steady descent into fascism? How can we bond with members of our faith when 1 in 5 of them voted for a buffoon, a puppet, a rat, who’s made it more dangerous to be a Jew in this country? We’ve been expelled forcefully from most countries. What’s next? The rat has called all of his friends and they’ve dismantled our very democracy. Anti-Semitic attacks are on the rise and the ability to practice our faith is threatened. How can we celebrate when the Earth is being destroyed — and his followers mock a 16 year old girl trying to save the world?

His followers have a strong faith in God, but God doesn’t exist. Have I further embraced Atheism as a way to counter the wrongs in this country — the wrongs of the religious right wing? Their beliefs put myself and my friends in danger and it’s used under the guise of “religious freedom”. I haven’t believed in God since my Bar Mitzvah. I tried. I really did, but I find no faith in muttering Hebrew words surrounded by others standing and sitting, standing, and standing, and sitting. Doing mitzvot for others is rewarding, but this stems from a humanist perspective and hardly a religious one.

My Bubbe was a vocal Atheist and a reporter. Despite her lack of faith, she always sought the truth. I respected her faith in humanity and her ethical commitment to finding truth. The real sin is surrounding yourself in lies and shrouding yourself in faith to ignore people suffering, justice waning, and nepotist cronyism spreading. What happened to ethics? Have we always been so corrupt? How can I possibly put myself under more stress to celebrate with the hatred I see daily?

Every year, I look at the pros and cons of attending religious services. The cons usually outweigh the pros. Listening to Hebrew I don’t understand is unappealing and meaningless. Some songs bring comfort, but so does karaoke. The Rabbi’s sermon can provide some knowledge and new thoughts, but I’d prefer to listen to a TED talk in the comfort of my own home. I won’t be attending services this year. I don’t know that I’ll fast for Yom Kippur. I’ll continue to do good deeds and make the world a better place. I’m still hopeful. Judaism has a long history of social justice and tolerance. Those ideals are paramount to my faith.